memori itu kembali..~

mlm neh~ tringat semuanya~~

smoga kamu2 tros chat, tros hepy2 je..
sy hepy utk korang~

mgkin time2 gini im suppose 2 do what i rily hv to do~

tp smpai skrg, otak sy msih empty~

am i preparing 4 my final?

of coz NOT AT ALL~~~

tlg doakan miracle may happen?

tp kalo xde usaha? arghhh!!! dun like diz stupid feeling!
i cant get over it~!!!!!

Ya Allah, bantulah hambaMu ini~

berikan ksedaran kpd ku~

sy nak smangat sy~~~

if sy tros jatuh, jatuh, & jatuh,,,,

cmne?

Tuhan, tlg sy~

so~

So selfish~
So childish~

So diz is what is so deserved~

So, serve me rite~ =)

puisi utk IBU~

Pernah aku ditegur

Katanya untuk kebaikan

Pernah aku dimarah

Katanya membaiki kelemahan

Pernah aku diminta membantu

Katanya supaya aku pandai

Ibu…..

Pernah aku merajuk

Katanya aku manja

Pernah aku melawan

Katanya aku degil

Pernah aku menangis

Katanya aku lemah

Ibu…..

Setiap kali aku tersilap

Dia hukum aku dengan nasihat

Setiap kali aku kecewa

Dia bangun di malam sepi lalu bermunajat

Setiap kali aku dalam kesakitan

Dia ubati dengan penawar dan semangat

Dan

Bila aku mencapai kejayaan

Dia kata bersyukurlah pada Tuhan

Ibu….

Aku sayang padamu…..

Tuhanku….

Aku bermohon padaMu

Sejahterakanlah dia

Selamanya…..

kdg2 aku bingung jd diri aku..

seyesly~

ble fkir2 blk, mcm sowg OKU~!!

bukn fzikal, tp bout myself~

xmampu nak wat pape,,

x mampu nk nasihatkan sape2,,

& d worst part is, x mampu nk jadik mcm mane agi utk tnjuk my caring~~

mybe aku kne blajar agi cara2 sbnar utk jadik sowg manusia~yg baek~

sowg anak yg baek~

sowg adik yg baek~

sowg kwn yg baek~

sowg sahabat yg baek~

& smua yg baek2~

dah sah2 aku mmg bukn owg baek~

seyes, aku mntak maaf kalo aku x mampu jadik smua yg baek2~

utk smua owg~

aku mntak maaf sgt2~

aku kalo boley nk smua owg tawu aku nk jadik yg terbaek utk smua owg~

tp mybe bub aku terlebey try~

@ x ckup try~

ntah! aku xtawu gak, n aku pown xpaham nape aku neh susah nk influence owg~

aku nasihat, owg xnak dgr,

aku ckp, msti ad salahnye,

snang citer, ape aku wat, msti x kne~!!

& tu wat aku takot nak wat pape dah!!!!

n aku dh ckup gv up ngan diri aku~

ckup3 gv up~!!

kdg2 ble aku nasihat, owg xnk dgr,

mula trdetik kat hati jahat aku,

"lantak ko lah nk watpe pown!!! jgn nyesal sudah!!!!!"

jgn anggap ble aku dh stop ckp, mksudnye aku dh penat nk layan korang!

tp tu sbnrnye bub aku sgt3 gv up ngan diri aku!

bub aku x mmpu wat pape!

aku x mmpu nk nasihat sahabat2 aku! or sape2 la~

kalo la ad sape2 yg faham prasaan down yg mcm neh~

yg pling sedey, ble tanpa aku tawu, my sahabat made a dcision by own self, never tell me..

only after submit up only i knew bout it~ ok! im crying! yup! i admit~!!

who am i @ ur side? yes, u r my very best3fren @ my side, anything, i mostly will ask ur opinion 1st before i did sumthing~ anything, i'll tell u 1st bfore others~ but when u did dat,,,,

ok~~ its ok~

im not soooooooooooooooo like how u r to me~ ok~ got it~

live happily~~

sesungguhnya,,

aku rindukan sahabatku~

Ya Allah, jagalah dia sebaek2 nya~

hambaMu ini bermohon~

hanya itu.... amin..

from deep in my heart...~

if i ever can stop all diz, i will do...

if i ever can walk beside u, i will go & comfort u up~

but, we r far away~

only tech can meet us up~

we r far away by distance, but always very close by heart~

I promise I will & I rily wanted to tc of u~

pleaz gv me chance 2 do whatever i want to do 4 u~

coz I dun want to regret 1 day.......

Pleaz.. I beg u.............

Pleazzzzz....................................

p/s: we hv d link~ how u r, is affected how am i~

how down u r, is making me down too~

how no mood u r, is affecting how moody i am~

& d important thing is, how u tc urself is very affecting on how i am tc of my own self~

from deep down from my heart, i rily meant it...

am I...?

Am I ruining people's life? If theres any,,, Im rily appologize..

idup neh sunyi... idup bnyak dugaan Nya kan? idup perlukan ketabahan & kekuatan...

hmm.. senangnye mulut brkata2~ tp nk hadapi?
its depend................

do we hv d link?

dun wory, im ok.. see? :) im smiling.. as u said, when im ok, u r ok too.. but when u r not, im totally damn not ok.. but dun wory.... im ok....... juz tc urself like how u tc on me.. thanx.. i think dat im too stupid enuf 4 all d things..

selamat berpuasa~ truskan kuat ok?

biar kesabaran teruji, keberanian tergugat,

jgn difikir benda2 yg xde kpentingan~

hapuskan dosa2, bnyakkan taubat, istighfar,

belajar! bub blajar tu sjenis ibadah jugak~

senyum! bub senyum tu 1 sedekah~

selamat berpuasa~

:: x salah bertegur sapa ngan owg d sekeliling~

time2 puasa cmni la nak wat ibadah~

sy menyeru diri sy & anda2 jugak~

selalu fikirkan owg laen, InsyaALLAH, anda jugak yg dpt keberkatan~

x rugi...

senyum ckt ye.. sy syg owg2 yg senyum kat sy~ =) LIKE! haha~

orait2, sayonara~!!

its 1 in a million.....

..... layan kejap.....

2days MC~ conjunctivitis..

okeh, now im at my hometown..

cant go back 2 penang coz of infection 2 my conjunctiva~

rily2 dun like diz thing.. y?

its bulging;

its red;

its watery;

its pain;

& when i wake up in morning, cant open my eye~

aduuuiyaiii...

& d main thing is, i cant meet people..

coz it may spread... haihhh....

yg truk is,, nk kne replace la MC2 neh nnti... sowang2~ haihhh.....

xpela, hope dosa2 terhapus ckt demi ckt...

insyaALLAH, sy akn trus brtahan selagi sy mmpu...

amin...

Muhasabah Cinta - edCoustic~

perpisahan dlm PerSaHaBaTaN~

renung2 kan~

"Tiada ungkapan perpisahan dalam persahabatan walaupun maut menjadi noktahnya kerana seorang sahabat itu terlalu istimewa dalam doa saudaranya yang lain biarpun tanpa bayangnya.."

keRINDUan~

seyes sy windu...

sgt2 windu..

nape masa skrg dh xley same mcm dlu?

adakah bub sume dh brubah..?

sy brubah, kamu brubah, diowg pown brubah..?

adakah sume kne brubah ikot predaran zaman?

seyes sy sgt2 windu masa lalu...

saat2 hepy ngan sume owg...

sy sedar sy pown brubah.......

& kalo boley sy nk ubah jd diri sy yg dulu tu....

tp boley kew?

sy x ske sy skrg...

sy yg skrg x baek...

jahat sgt....

sy yg skrg ske wat owg laen.....

sy x ske cmtu............

sy ksiankn owg laen.... sy xnak owg laen sedey bub sy....

sy dh janji ngn diri sy, sy nk owg skeliling sy sntiasa hepy ble ngn sy..

tp sy xley wat sume tu.....

sy nak..... sy nak.....sy nak syazirah yg dulu...............

p/s:::: Ya ALLAH.. jauhilah hambaMu ini dr segala sifat2 mazmumah yg hnya memakan diriku sendiri..............

AQUARIUS~ cer tgk, ad persamaan x ngn sy? hoho

The Bright Side

Aquarians are lively, inventive and original. Anything goes with Aquarius, and being an individual does not worry this sign: in fact, Aquarius is always out of step with the rest of the world and revels in anything that is 'different'.

Aquarius is also one of the most happily eccentric of the signs. Although it can be extremely difficult to get close to an Aquarian, this is a Fixed sign and so is loyal and faithful. Ask an Aquarian for help and you will immediately get it, for this sign is a very soft touch and would willingly give some people the shirt off its back if necessary.

The Dark Side

The Aquarian personality can be chaotic and unpredictable, stubborn and rebellious, cranky and perverse. It is a sign which can be totally dedicated to being unconventional, whilst remaining stuck in a rigid, unrecognized pattern. It is also a sign which can become detached to the point of coldness, making it very difficult for ordinary mortals to relate to them. Aquarians do not care what the world thinks, however, so that social conventions are sometimes thrown out of the windows in favour of anarchy. The isolation this can sometimes bring can come as a surprise to them as they find it difficult to see how they might have behaved unreasonably.

Humanitarian

The Aquarian personality is one of the most impersonal and detached, yet Aquarius has a deep care and concern for humanity. A progressive reformer, Aquarius is also full of humanitarian ideals, but these can be somewhat vague, giving Aquarians a reputation for keeping their heads in the clouds.

Wellness


Idealistic Aquarians are full of suggestions for changing the state of the world, but this often means they overlook their own condition. They are frequently fascinated by health issues, especially in the area of new healing techniques. Yet they can easily neglect themselves. A tremendous zest for life gives them enormous staying power; but extremely self-willed, they will stubbornly resist any advice to slow down.

Fatigue

Tiredness can produce loss of concentration and may induce contrary and over-wrought behavior. Other Aquarian symptoms of stress are muscular tension or spasms. These can build up over a long period of time, eventually leading to circulatory disorders - another Aquarian concern. They are often unpleasantly surprised when their bodies let them down, and they make difficult patients.

When taking exercise, Aquarians should tread warily. Unexpressed anger makes them susceptible to accidents. Typically vulnerable areas in the lower limbs are the shins, calves, ankles and also the Achilles tendons, which are often prone to bruising and strain.


Love

Aquarians are strongly independent and cannot bear to be tied down. Their firm views and opinions can quickly change to obstinacy and stubbornness when provoked. Nevertheless, they are faithful and supportive in the right relationships. They may become ensconced in a committed relationship but need to preserve their privacy and independence.


HONESTY

Although they're naturally very straightforward, do not expect Aquarians to be clear-cut because they are often very unpredictable, and will almost certainly keep their loved ones guessing. Not all Aquarians find it easy to show their feelings, and they are often uncomfortable about the more romantic aspects of love.

Extrovert, entertaining, intelligent, and often very idealistic, Aquarians usually have many friends who play an important role in their lives. Although they are very loyal and trustworthy, their partners may often become jealous over the bond between and Aquarian and his or her friends. In some cases, their strong feelings and attitudes can turn into insistence and tremendous arguments if aroused, which can make life difficult for their partners.

Aquarians also often have difficulty in handling their own as well as other people's emotions, which may mean that they sometimes ignore a partner's most intimate feelings and insecurities.

n now, aku d tahun ke3~ boley undur kembali x masa neh?

ckup pantas masa brlalu, sperti smalam bawu aku jejakkan kaki d bumi Penang..

skarang dh masuk tahun ke3 aku d sini...

bnyak bnda aku dpt blajar d sini.. wlaupown aku bukanlah d best stud, tp aku brsyukur, ilmu aku makin brtambah...

aku dh tawu bnyk bnda..

aku akui, aku ckup malas...

aku ckup jeles bla tgk membe2 aku bley dpt 3.5 n above, mmg susah, tp diowg boley,, aku msti boley gak kn?

neh dh msuk sem 5, xpenah 1 sem pown aku dpt pgang dean tu... (bukak keaiban diri lak~ uppss! xpe2, nk gtaw sy x pndai~ =) ) gtaw xpndai xpe kn? jgn gtaw kte pndai lak, riak nmanya~ kan2? hee....

tringin sgt2,, yela, sape yg xnk dekan kn...

sume brgantung kpd usaha, n rezeki msing2..

yela, aku neh malas btoiiiiiiii nk stdy.. adoiii cmne nk dpt erk... haiihhhhhhhhhhhh~

family, sahabat2, kwn2, membe2, ci's, lect's,, doakan sy~!!

sy sgt3 tringin... sem neh je jd harapan trakhir sy.................

azam sy ::: sy nk wat yg terbaek... sy nk berkhidmat utk msyarakat~

sy nk bantu family sy! sy nak tawu ape yg sy xtawu time ayah sy sakit dulu... ble sy dh tawu sume, sy boley la bantu sedara mara sy~ sy nk tlg diowg........

khas wat smua sahabat sy~ im sure miss u all a lot.... i miss every single piece of moments wif u all... thnx 4 being a part of my life...

am i so selfish? nilaikan diri anda2 jugak!

diz week,, terrible~

a lot of things happen within juz 2 n 3 days~

d 1st day started wif a severe headache...

too much of pressure.. in ward, too much of thinking, perhaps~

DUGAAN~

n U~!!

u said u want to b wif me..

but, where r u??

where?

when im so lonely, u oso do ur own bsness~

1 msg per day? LIKE~

i juz wanna c u..

i juz can contact u, if i want, but i wait 4 ur action~

owhh, mybe u r soooo bz..

yup, its rite~

u r bz~ but then if im bz, wth wif ur 'urmmmm'?

never mind.. go on wif ur way~

i wont say anything..

i can accept ady , & i can tc of myself even no 1 in my life now~

yes! i can tc of myself~

no nid 2 think how i am today~ what am i doing~ coz im juz very fine here~

& 1 more, my bad again comes along~

i wont statisfied until i noe everything clearly~

coz i dun like,, im so annoying, i rily noe~

IM RILY SORRY~

im so ----->> @#$%^&* =(

"benda yg remeh slalu di jadikan masalah besar...asyik2 emosi.."

ckup3 menusuk..................

ye, sy mmg ske besarkn bnde remeh temeh..

im so sory..

i dun ever noe why am i bcum very2 sensitive smpai nk besar2kan bnde remeh temeh~

now,, bcum more, more n more snsitive~

rily2 sory for all my words, for all my mistakes i've done~

dh x bnyak mase kte ad..

hope mase yg ad neh dpt beri kenangan yg indah2 wat kte..

& i hope, d last day u r here, u will fullfill ur promise~

* u noe what? i think i can remember all ur words throughout our frenship~

& im rily sory when i can do nothing when u rily want me 2 do sumthing~

thinking~ again.......... & again.... until i die!

bnyak utk difikir,,

smpai xtawu yg mne nk fikir............

bnyak btol salah aku smpai xtawu ade x yg btol..

n now, d headache is coming............

biar!

pikir smpai mati~

* aku mntak maaf ble aku xdpt control mrh aku..

ble aku lpas kt owg laen..

ble aku wat prangai teruk2..

maafkn aku..

hope persahabatan kte brpanjangan..

aku syg kamu, sahabat~

* maaf ble sy xtawu nk wat kptusan tntg hati sy,

sy syg awk,

tp sy xley awk asyik tnye tntg prasaan sy...

ckup2 la ble sy dh ckp sy syg awk.. ape agi awk nk sy ckp?

perlu kew sy ckp pnjang2 & biar awak pikir bnyak2 kali tntg prasaan sy?

sy xnk nnti sy tros baran & wat awk agi..

tlg paham sy cmne...

jgn irritate sy ngn soalan2 yg pelik2...

awk tlg la pikirkan utk sy ape yg awk nak..

sy dh xlarat nk pikir.............................

* ble ngah buntu neh, xde sape utk dibgtaw...

so, trpakse cari blog neh, ckp tntg prasaan kt cni..

kat mne agi nk gtaw kn..

dh xde sape!!!

xde sape ngn sy!!!

col mak,, xdpt~

ntah ape yg prob, line ke ape ke...

xde sape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dh xde sape!!!!

die ckp die ad, tp,, sy xtawu ape brita die..

ase sy nk pegi je sne!

if ad trnsport sndirik, dh lame sy smpai sane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tp sy xnk wat die isau, wat die mrh~

tp sy nk tawu sal die!!!!!

nak ad ngn die!!!!

die xnk sy kew??

* mlm yg amat sunyi..

tnpa ketawa, tanpa senyuman...

hnya kerutan di dahi...

& airmata peneman hati....

xde penawar....

sujud...................................

* maaf utk sume owg, b, kwn2,,

im not perfect, n i dun try my best 2 b d bestest!

but, i want u all 2 noe dat u all r my bestest!!!

my bestest fren, bestest bf, bestest sis~

i hope u noe...pleaz remember me, & forgive me when i still got time~

coz i still wanna see ur smile, hear ur laugh, hold ur hands,,, hug u when u r in blue.....

& pleaz b wif me.... coz i cant lose u all.........................................

* of coz i do want to take care of ur heart, but yet, im so selfish~

only want other people to tc of my heart~

wanna noe sumthing?

im so sory if u r pain bcoz of my words,, but, only wif u,, sy jujur ngn sume bnde..

sy gtaw sume...

except d 1 i want 2 surprise u~

buntu-buntu-buntu....

tlg aku Ya Allah~

aku buntu........................

bertimpa2 Kau uji hambaMu ini Ya ALLAH..

ad sape skrg..

sunyi sgt2...

nk gtaw sape??

xde sape...

perit ble simpan sume..

n dpt nk tenangkn sape2..

cukup perit,,

if diz thing also considered as remeh temeh,,,

i dun noe what 2 do anymore...

sume bersarang kt hati neh...

Ya ALLAH,, aku tahu Kau sntiasa di sisi ble sume owg xde d sisi aku...

tlg jgn tinggalkan aku Ya ALLAH....

aku xde sape2..........................aku perlukanMU....

sujud..............................................................

multiple entries.............. in 1 entry..

29 Mei 2011 @ 0930,, mak berangkat ke KLIA..brkumpul kt sne, nk pegi umrah........

n now, mak dh ad kat sna~

windu ngn mak makin menebal~ dr hari ke hari~

im counting days to meet her..............

"smoga mak dberi kesihatan yg baek, dpt kerjakan ibadah dgn sempurna kat sna~

doakan mak........." tu yg mak bisik sbelom brangkat pegi...

insyaALLAH mak,,,

adik sntiasa doakan mak....

mak jg diri ye kt sna...

pulang dgn slamat ye..

jgn isau kami kt sini....

doakan adik bnyak2 ye mak.............

smoga adik dpt jadi anak yg baek utk mak...

adik x kesah mak x beli pape utk adik, adik cuma nk tgk mak blk dgn slamat je...

tu hadiah yg paling berharga utk adik.........

adik isaukan mak............................................................ =(

*ayah,, mak dh g umrah...

mak g ngn mak lang~

ayah, mak dh wat upah haji utk ayah~

nnti bley la guna Haji Saaban kn?

adik syg ayah...

syg mak....

maaf adik x jadi anak yg baek...............

*maaf kn sy bila sy ngade2..

nak itu ini...

mcm tu, cmni..

sy berubah~ ye, sy dh brubah....

jgn explain pape..

asyik nk owg jg hati sy,, sy??

ok, bawu sy tawu.....

so mmg btol la sy neh ngade kn?

ye, mmg sy ngaku sy ngade..

bub sy tawu, nnti dh xley nk ngade ngn awk..

bub tu sy nk sume nye skrg....

mase tu dh hampir............

makin hampir...................................

maaf.. ini,, empty........................................

x pikir owg laen~

selfish!!

( tp sy pikir, nape ble awk mintak sy wat bnde yg paling sy x ske, sy bley wat~

sy lupekan sal hati sy,, sy lpekan prasaan sy,, tp ble sy mintak,,

awk xley korbankn utk sy? sy boley je tebalkan muka sy, sy boley je senyum, bley je sume........even dlm hati neh, Tuhan je yg tawu.... xpela.. neh bnde remeh je........ )

im such a @#$%^&*(*&^%$%*~!! i noe...

again 4 my S-A-H-A-B-A-T~

jika ari ini aku lupa diri, tlg ingatkn aku~

jika ari ini aku menangis, tlg tenangkn aku~

jika ari ini aku terjatuh, bangunkan lah aku~

kerana aku sgt2 perlukan sahabat seperti kamu.......

mungkin bila semakin meningkat dewasa,

aku smakin alpa dgn permainan dunia~

smakin lupa kenangan2 lalu~

yg percayalah,, aku x mahu lupakan.....

tp, aku manusia~

manusia yg penuh kehinaan~

yg penuh dgn sifat2 mazmumah~

aku mahu jd yg terbaik,

tp aku sedar, aku x mampu....

aku mahu buat semua org gembira dgn kehadiran aku,

tp aku sbenarnya menambah luka & perit mereka..

mungkin sebab aku trlalu ingin jd yg terbaik,

aku GAGAL~!!

maafkan aku wahai teman~

petikan lagu neh utk semua sahabat ku....

-- Oh Tuhan
Tunjukkan ku jalan
Untuk menempuhi dugaan ini
Teman, maafkan jika ku melukaimu
Moga ikatan ukhwah yang dibina
Ke akhirnya

Aku tidak kan berdaya
Menahan hibanya rasa
Kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Redhalah apa terjadi
Usahlah kau kesali
Mungkin ada rahmat yang tersembunyi--

aku mintak maaf ok?

maafkn aku,,,

aku sgt3 berserabut~

maafkn aku ble slalu mrh2 kamu sume...

aku xley nk control~

sume bercampur baur~

maaf sgt2...

jgn amik hati.......

aku anggap korang dh mcm adik2 aku~

anggap je tu sume leteran dr sowang kakak k?

aku xdpt nk share sume probs yg aku ad,,

tp aku mntak korang jgn tinggal aku k?

aku perlukan korang, tp ad mase, aku kne brgerak sndiri....

aku x mcm owg laen yg ley handle prasaan diowg,,

aku slalu unstable~~

n cara aku nk tenangkn fikiran lak laen dr owg laen...

hope kamu sume faham~

aku bukn brmaksud nk asingkn diri dr korang...

syg korang sgt2~~~~~~~

mimpi MALAM~

....betol kew mimpi neh???

mimpi neh wat aku makin takot!!!

Ya ALLAH, aku harap xde pape brlaku...

Ya ALLAH, permudahkn lah urusan nya..

lindungi lah dia....

sesungguhnya hanya ENGKAU yg MAHA MENGETAHUI

lagi MAHA MENGASIHANI...

Ya ALLAH, aku mohon padaMu,,

rahmatilah dia dgn rahmatMU...

berkatilah setiap urusannya...

berikan dia kesihatan yg baek.....

Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.....

....mak, SELAMAT HARI IBU~!!!

td wish kt mak, mak nanges...

mne nk tahan derr...

ternanges skali la...

aduiii....

ase nk je blk, salam mak, pelok mak~

xpe3, nnti adik blk ye mak~

mak jg diri k?
adik syg mak sgt2~

nnti mak nk g umrah, hope boley antar mak.......

adik tunggu mak kt sini ye mak....

jg diri kt sne.... (sebak...... hmm.. )

F-I-N-A-L .. A-G-A-I-N~~

DIS MONDAY, its final~

1st paper..

hmmm...

diz sem ad owg challenge aku nk 3.5 at least~

tp,,, aku x ase aku mmpu...

bub aku xley nk focus.....

my mind & my soul is not here.....

its there...sumwhere else..

i cant stop thinking..

PLEAZ help me..............

i dun hv d intention 2 force u,

but dis is truly from d bottom of my heart..

i tried,, but i CANT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

membe2 aku sume bz stdy, tp aku??

aku x takot lgsung nk final neh....

aku xde ase pape...

& aku xde ase takot if kne resit or what so ever nnti...

cmne neh? tlg aku................ =(

kamu jnji nk jg die!

kamu dh jnji nk jg die kn??

jg la die leklok~

teman la die,,

die nk kamu!

pegang tgn die ble die nk kamu!!!

die sunyi skrg, tlg la ad ngn die.......

die sgt2, sgt3 sensitif.. jgn wat die nanges,,,,

sy xley tgk die sedey......... sy mrh sape2 yg wat die sedey.....

sy nak berCORET ckt...

bnyak bnda sbnrnya aku nk ckp..

bnda neh memerlukan anda, anda & anda utk berpikir kalo nk paham..

(ehh, mcm bnyak pulak owg nk membaca blog aku neh kn? konon~ hikk! )

1- Utk 1 kehilangan,, (mereka)

kdg2 bnde tu susah utk mereka, tp mudah utk kte..

(maksudnye, proses nye lame, kite dh bley agak~ x bape susah utk kte trime..)

ble bnde tu susah utk kite, percayalah, mudah wat mereka~

(ble 1 thing brlaku dgn pantas, mngejut,, mmg susah kte nk trime kn? tp, mudah utk mereka, perjalanan mereka mudah~ x lame mereka menderita...)

2- Terus dgn tanda tanya,, MAAFkn sy~!!

i wish i could......

but, I couldnt!

everytime, each seconds of my breath,, i try 2 find by myself,,

think of every hint 2 know sumthing,,

as u said i shouldnt noe,

--------------I WISHED I NOE NOTHING FROM D BEGINNING----------------

but, i noe sumthing ady......

how i can pretend like nothing is happening when it is???

... We Cant Keep Hiding From The Truth ......

either u tell, or i find it by myself, fast or slow, it doesnt matter~

i promise u, i will never stop thinking bout it~until i found out d real thing~

as my head tense, u noe what will happen rite?

i'll so easily develop severe headache.....

awk sanggup tgk sy cmtu?

tgk la slalu k?

sy janji dgn diri sy...

even when i sleep also, my mind keep thinking..........

ampunkan sy,, maafkn sy......

camne sy nk ckp agi? ---i oso blank.... ---

Ya ALLAH,, hambaMu ini memohon.....

Ya ALLAH,, hambaMu yg lemah ini memohon kpd Mu Ya ALLAH,,

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hapuskanlah sifat hasad dengki & iri hatiku Ya ALLAH~!!!

hambaMu ini sudah bnyak berdosa,,

hambamu ini sgt lemah,,

bantulah hambaMU ini Ya ALLAH....

hapuskan sifat mazmumah ini dr diriku, Ya ALLAH!!

dgn kerendahan diri & dgn kebesaranMU aku mohon YA ALLAH.....

moga dgn ini,, hambamu ini xkan lagi melukai & menyakiti hati owg laen..

semua dgn izinMU, YA ALLAH~

*aku ingin mereka tawu, aku terlalu sygkan mereka..

tp, kdgkala aku x sedar bhawasanya aku dh terlebey suda...

aku harap mereka tawu........

K.U.A.T k??

entry neh khas utk Lailatul Asmarina & family,,

kuatkn semangat k?? jgn putus doa... doa anak2 bekalan ayah d sna~

kuatkan hati...

ada: jgn isau,, sha jg aciq kt cni k? kamu jg diri, jg mak.. kuat utk mak k..~

sama2 kte sedekahkan al-Fatihah utk arwah Pak Cik Zakaria,, smoga roh nya dicucuri rahmat & dtempatkan dlm kalangan org beriman & beramal soleh,, insyaALLAH~ (2/4/2011)

*doakan arwah ayah sy jugak k..... (13/7/2010)

semakin hari, semakin takot!

takot ngan?

takot ngan kejutan....

Ya Allah,, tabahkan aku..

kuatkan aku,,

miracle can happen,, insyaALLAH....

semoga trus kuat~!!

---lagu Dear God bermaen2 d fikiran aku skarang,,

Dear God, the only thing i ask of u,

is to hold her when im not around,

when im much too far away.....

nak citer~!!

skrg aku ngah cuti, so, kt kg la skrg~

aritu,, aku sedey sgt2.. (for some reason~ cnt tell)

aku dh xtawu nk gtaw sape,,

mcm2 aku pikir time tu,,,

then aku decide,, pas solat mghrib tu, aku nk bc yassin,

wat air yassin,,

then bsok nye aku g kubur ayah~

sowang2,,

dono ape aku ase time tu,

tp aku ase nk g sne, so, aku g..

sebaik mlgkah msuk ke tanah prkuburan tu, ati aku sebak~

air mata laju je mngalir..

seolah2 aku ngah bersembang ngan ayah,

seolah2 aku ngah gtaw ayah msalah aku,

mmg aku x ckp, tp, aku ase ayah tawu.. kn?

aku nyesal sgt kuarkan air mata kt tanah prkuburan,

aku lap stiap kali menitis, tp, tetap mngalir...

x henti2..

pas sdekahkan al-Fatihah utk ayah, aku pegang batu nisan ayah,,

makin sebak aku ase.....

seolah2 aku pegang tgn ayah,,

kalo dulu, bley pegang, salam tgn ayah,

skrg, aku hnya bley pgang batu nisan kt kubur ayah...

laen nye dulu ngan skarang~

hmm...

mybe bukn nature fmily kta nk ucapkan syg, or nk trlalu tnjukkkan syg tu,,

tp adik nk gtaw,, adik sgt2 sygkan fmily kta~

mmg adik neh bukn anak yg baek, bukn adik bongsu yg baek,

tp, adik sgt2 sygkn fmily adik!

maafkan salah silap adik slama neh~

& adik harap, if adik mati sekalipown nnti, adik nk mati di sisi family adik~!!

mak: adik syg mak sgt2~!! nnti p umrah, hati2,, jg diri...adik tnggu mak kt cni..

abg2 & kakak2: sowi, adik kamu neh mmg jahat, x beradab, x bersopan santun n wat so ever,, tp family kta tetap dlm hati adik!

sahabat2: aku syg korang smua!! maaf if slalu wat korang trasa,, & maaf aku xdpt jd kawan terbaek korang~

tears week~

mnggu neh mmg mnggu air mata kew??

hmmmm... MAYBE~

y? when:

-soooo confused state~

-so missing state~

-so loving state~

-so tired 0f thinking state~

-when too tired of thinking, but yet still cant make a gud decision~

-which 1 to do, & which 1 to let go?

-when d 1 very closed 2 us, GONE~

-gone, gone, & gone~

-away, away, & away~

u know how's my feeling now?

until no more feeling~~~

even when u cut my artery @ vein, my blood all come out, YET! im not feeling of pain @ anything!

how 2 describe?

SPEECHLESS~!!

but i remember every single of ur words~!!

hope u also not forget them all~!!!

u will hold my hands in watever stuations!

im waiting 4 dat....

pray 4 me~

pray 4 my strength~

pray 4 my gud flow of life~

& also pray so that i can accept LIFE~~~

i thought only death can stop a relation,,

but now,, as human wish~

hayati~ SAHABAT SEJATI (unic)

Ku biar kalam berbicara
Menghurai maksudnya di jiwa
Agar mudah ku mengerti
Segala yang terjadi
Sudah suratan Ilahi

Ku biarkan pena menulis
Meluahkan hasrat di hati
Moga terubat segala
Keresahan di jiwa
Tak pernah ku ingini

Aku telah pun sedaya
Tak melukai hatimu
Mungkin sudah suratan hidupku
Kasih yang lama terjalin
Berderai bagaikan kaca
Oh teman, maafkanlah diriku

C/O :
Oh Tuhan
Tunjukkan ku jalan
Untuk menempuhi dugaan ini
Teman, maafkan jika ku melukaimu
Moga ikatan ukhwah yang dibina
Ke akhirnya

Aku tidak kan berdaya
Menahan hibanya rasa
Kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
Redhalah apa terjadi
Usahlah kau kesali
Mungkin ada rahmat yang tersembunyi

aktiviti ari neh: G.O.T.O.N.G..R.O.Y.O.N.G~!!

haaa~~

oleh sebab ari neh awal aku mangun,,

(smalam tito lambat gler,, 3.30 bawu ley tito! huhu)

ase bersemangat lak nk mngemas halaman umah~

ceyyy!

pas breakfast,, angkut la tentera2 ku berjuang! haha~

masing2 pd awlnya nmpak sgt bersemangat jugak!

well done~!!

haha~

tp,, pancit sbelom masanya!

adoiii~

last2 tinggal la aku sowang......smpai tghari gak kowt!

nak xnak, kne abiskn laa,,

sedey pown ad! waaaaaaaa~!! =(

anak buah aku (Muhammad) ckp:
"Mak Ndak,, rehat la dlu, panas tu~ "

hehe... sejuk hati neh,, ad perikmanusiaan gak budak neh...

tp, xley la nk stop, abiskan la!

yg xtahan tu nk kne angkat batubata, (yg beso2), pasu bunga,,

x gne body mechanic okeh!!

haaa~ agak2 ape side effect ble wat2 kuat cmtu?

hihihihi... backache la!! adesss~

nk mnyesal pown x gne~

pe agi,, akibat kpenatan mlampau + smalam x ckup tito,,

tertito la aku...wat peta dunia dlm sejam lebey~

wawawa~ (eh, xde lah peta dunia,, tp sempat la mimpi..hee)

even bilik panas gler2, x amik kesah pown,, xdan nk amik pusing! haha

kalot nk tito je~

hihihihi... maluu plak ngaku!

besok InsyaALLAH akan mngemas umah agi..

mak dh tetapkan bhagian mne nk kemas! soo,, go2 chayok! huhu

K.A.R.M.A.~

dh lma aku dgr bnde tu, tp x sure bnde tu hape...

hihi~

1st time tawu...tett! =P

takot gak,, bub nnti kte dpt blk pe yg kte dh wat kt owg laen..

kalo kte wat baek, gud la..

tp, if wat jaat,,

tnggu la~

takot gak, kdg2 kte xde niat nk wat jaat kn?

(aceceyy,,dan2 lak aku! hikk! =P)

errr... betol la kn..

sape yg ske nk wat jaat kt owg laen kn?

kecuali la PENDENDAM~

pendendam pown berdendam coz sblom neh die penah kne kn?

so,, KARMA di situ~

dah gilak kowt?

aku ase aku dh gila la~

korang ase cmtu x?

seyes,,, aku xley nk rilex!

mood swing,,

emosi sukati nk bertukar2,,

sedey, marah, hepy,, sume bercampur baur!

jgn ckp nk refer aku ke psy~!!

Ya Allah,,,,

hambaMu neh sgt2 lemah,,

kuatkn aku Ya ALLAH....

berikan aku ketenangan..........................

di saat aku sendirian hadapi semua ini,,

bantu lah aku Ya ALLAH........

nmpak sgt aku mmg teruk!

pas sowang, sowang agi pegi...

then, now?

i am alone!

such a great feeling now...

until im speechless..........

duno 2 whom 2 talk 2.....

im sucks!!

rily2 sucks!!!!!!!!

away mencari ketenangan...

pegi la,, tp blk cpt k?

adik tnggu... =)

(tunggu dgn pnuh harapan..)

p/s: maaf terguna "sy"....

thnx coz stand beside me...

thanx last nite,,

as my life bcome zero,,

he catch me..

ur words rily calmed me..

even im not even say anything,

u gv me ur hands as i rily need..

i duno what happen 2 me,,

but i feel very weak!

i cant stand!

i dun hv D strength~

i miss both of U~

both of u make me calm!

both of u make me strong~!!

pleaz dun go away from me........

i dunno how 2 say anymore,, i rily need U & U........

IMY & CRY~

damn teruk ase!

ase ilang~~

rily miss u...

pleaz come back......

i wait 4 u....

until u become u........

adoiii,, air mata neh sucks!

lemah kowt..

smangat pown ilang....

ntah ble ia akan kmbali~

rily want u back....

take ur time...

semakin hari, semakin jaoh...

sy xtawu if sy ad wat salah, tlg gtaw sy...

sy sedey ble kte dh makin jauh...

ble sy try wat awk ketawa pown, sy dh failed skrg,,,

sy gagal!

dlu awk slalu ckp, awk kuat if ad sy,

sy snyuman awk,

sy boley wat awk tenang,,

tp, skrg no more........

nape kte dh xley senyum n ktawa skrg??

nape????????

sy ad salah kew??

tolong maafkn sy...

sy perlukan awk,,

awk kekuatan sy...

ble sy ckp sy ok,, tlg jgn caye,,,

bub sy sbnrnye x ok..............

ble awk xde, sy terumbang ambing,,

ble awk xde, sy trlalu windukan awk....

sy windu kakak sy tu...

sampai BILA~

pelik lak entry neh..

xpe2, go on..

aku neh xde la mulia~

tett! x mulia lgsung!

juz aku ase aku boley la nk brtolak ansur ngan owg laen~

stakat nk mngalah tu,, no hal~

yela kn, smpai ble nk cmtu kn....

"SAMPAI BILA NAK CAMTU??"

quote tu slalu aku gne ble kpala hotak aku dh xlarat nk berpikir...

lantak la owg nk ckp aku neh lemah @ a surrender...

so what??

diz is my life!

i am who i am~

i like being me~

if u dun like me,, u MAY GO!

DGN SGALA HORMAT NYA~ aku bentang karpet merah k?

K.E.C.E.W.A~

dh lme nk post neh sbnrnye, tp x smpt + xde mood~

cmne nk ckp erk?

xtawu mybe bub aku neh trlalu emo @ what so ever,

tp,, seyes ble aku bg nasihat brdasarkan ilmu yg dh aku dpt,

tp owg maen2 plak,, saat aku betol2 isau,,

smpaikan mngalir air jernih dr mata aku,,

diowg kt sne boley plak gelak2...

seolah2 memerli ilmu yg dh aku dpt,,

mcm xde guna pown aku penat2 blajar, ble xley nk apply utk diowg yg aku syg!

aku ase GIVE UP!

smpai skrg, setiap kali tgk diowg, aku xkn lupa~

aku dh mls nk ckp pape,,

even diowg mntak pndangan aku pown, aku xkn ckp pape dh....

ok,, now i'll keep silent!

so,, do watever u all wanna do...

i dun care!

MAAF,, sy terlalu R.I.S.A.U...!

Maafkn sy, sy isau smpai kamu fed up..

mybe bub sy trlalu bnyak brpikir tntg kamu,

maafkn sy k?

sy mmg teruk, sy tawu..

kte doa sama2 k?

insyaAllah kte bley sama2 tempuhi sume neh~

baek buruk kte, kte sama2 hadapi dgn snyuman kn?

sy x pndai & sy bukn yg terbaek,,

tp sy try & blajar utk bg yg terbaek wat kamu~

thnx hadir dlm idup sy, MLH~

C.E.T.E.K~!! haha

haihhhhh!

haa~ mngeluh dlu~

penat gak kn..

ble si pompuan rapat gler ngan si pompuan, x abis x bukan,, LES la tu~!

ble si laki rapat agak gler ngan si laki sowang agi,, kompem2 GAY~!!

kalo si laki & si pompuan lak yg rapat,, COUPLE plak!!

toinggggg!

apedaaa~!!

agak kolot d situ~

cetek!

haha~ sukati aku je nk pnggil~

sowi la sape2 yg trasa ye!

ehh clap lak, wtpe nk sowi kn~

lantak kamu lah!

heyyy!!!

sy x ske lah kamu nk pndang2 serong cmni~

kamu xpenah kew rapat ngan sseorang,,

sseorang yg kamu boley share sume ngan die!

yg paham kamu~

yg jadik kekuatan kamu ble kmu down!

yg tlg bangunkan kamu ble kamu jatuh!

ble snyuman die boley wat kamu tenang!

xpenah erk?

hnya owg yg beruntung je boley dpt sume tu~

(haha,, bangga plak! hik!)

tp,, haa~ ad tapi nye!

sy x ske lah owg nk tgk sinis2 neh~

ase nk cungkil2 je bijik mate tu~

ape msalahnye??

ktorang ad kaco idup owg laen kew?

xde kn?

nk rapat gak cmni?

boley,, msuk je~

sbnrnye sy xde la kesah @ heran sgt ngan mulut @ mata sstengah pihak tu~

(yg agak CETEK tu~)

tp,, ksabaran pown ad tahap nye gak kn?

xley lah nk tgk owg tu kne!!

haihhhh!!

xley kew kalo ktorang rapat?

owg laen rapat xpe je?

ANEH sngguh!

uikkk!

ktorang x songsang! harap maklum~

mintak simpang la~

Ya ALLAH~

waras agi kowt!

msing2 ad yg tersayang!

haha~ kan b?

(hahh! maluuu~ )

tetttt!

pleaz la,, pleaz la~

jgn la jeles ngn ktorang k?

ktorang adik & kakak je~

xkn nk jadik suami isteri kowt??

hahah!!! GILAKKKK!

weyy!! waras agi~

(bengong! aku mrh2, tp lawak gler bc blk post neh! haha~ siottttt je! )

jgn bersedih!

Hidup ini tidak selalunya indah. Kadang-kadang kita akan terasa sangat susah, sakit, penat, kecewa, sedih, derita dan sebagainya…

Keadaan ini akan menjadikan kita lemah semangat dan tidak bermaya bagaikan orang yang tiada halatuju dalam hidupnya.

Dirinya seakan-akan tidak berpijak di bumi yang nyata.

Ia merasakan dirinya sedang terawang-awang di langit dunia melihat jasadnya yang sangat lemah di muka bumi.

Ia menangis sendirian mengenangkan nasib yang akan dilaluinya sehari-hari dalam keadaan seperti itu.

Ia pasrah!!!

Ia akur!!!

Mahu tidak mahu kita mesti melaluinya kerana ia menjadikan kita lebih matang, kental, cekal dan kuat daya ketahanannya.

Keadaan ini akan menjadikan kita seorang manusia yang mempunyai nilai-nilai kemanusiaan yang semakin hilang di kalangan manusia sendiri sejak akhir-akhir ini.

Kita patut tahu bahawa Allah S.W.T lebih menyukai seorang muslim yang kuat berbanding dengan seorang muslim yang lemah.

Kerana dengan sebab kekuatan yang dimilikinya, dia mampu membantu sesiapa sahaja yang memerlukan dan mengharapkan bantuan.

Dia juga boleh memberikan semangat, motivasi dan keyakinan diri kepada sesiapa sahaja yang memerlukannya di saat hati menjadi sangat lemah tidak berdaya.

Allah S.W.T berfirman di dalam Al-Qur’an:

“Patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan dengan hanya berkata: "Kami beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji (dengan sesuatu cubaan)?”

(Surah Al-Ankabut: Ayat 2)

Ujian, cubaan, mehnah dan tribulasi pasti akan dilalui oleh mereka yang benar-benar berjuang kerana berjuang tidak pernah senang seperti yang disangkakan.

Perjuangan bukanlah seperti pesta “Red Carpet” yang mana seseorang itu akan dibentangkan dengan karpet merah sambil mendapat anugerah yang hanya menjanjikan keseronokan duniawi semata-mata.

Bukanlah dinamakan berjuang orang yang sentiasa berada dalam kenikmatan yang berterusan tanpa memikirkan orang lain yang menderita dan sengsara.

Dan, perjuangan tidak dinamakan perjuangan jika takut berkorban dan terkorban…